Obama's new 0 tolerance plan
Finally Obama gets it. Finally he's realized that we absolutely can't tolerate the acts of Terrorists... err wait Carp!?!? Obama's new 0 Tolerance Policy
Ok, look, rather than spending billions on this issue, there's something VERY SIMPLE Obama can do to get rid of this thing.
1. State Dinner. Now bear with me here, in the event that this carp is served at one of his state dinners it will suddenly become a popular food. Don't ask me why, but trust me it will. The result will be overfishing of this carp (wait isn't this what we're trying to subsidize?)
2. White House Executive Chef. And this is where things get really batty. Have the White House Executive Chef (The Commander-in-Chef if you will) make her rounds on the food networks showing everyone how to cook 50 servings of this carp for a state dinner. A bit of potato a'la POTUS, a good crab cream sauce, a presidentially wonderful risotto, and your crab problems are solved. Cost? ~2 million dollars.